im | simple | nazrisaifee | uyakurt | Link | music
On 12:32 AM
dearest diary.
today i just made the decision that most probably everyone wants to...
and thinks i should too...
yes, ive let people decide for me...but actually, i too did that decision.
it really ended just like that. and yup. i have to let go...
because thats what she wants. and that she has decided and never to change her mind again...and this is permanent. really permanent. uneraseable.
ive been thinking the whole day and its really for her sake and yups. i don't want others to worry about me. and i too have grown up since and should be able to decide things. we have to be selfish in our lifes. and we too have to stand ground firmly on our decisions.i know that our life should not only just about relationship. we don't get matured from relationship. really. ive achieve lots of things in my life already. and i should continue from there...i will not stop. and i have to get up once again...pull myself together.
once i let go...it will be forever. i too want us to be friends...but it will never be the same again. i need time..lots of time. but most probably. ill be gone from most of your lifes...im sorry. i have to jump steps and be back on track that i was told too...it will be full throttle. such that my arrogance are back up again and i will not care about those who are left back from me...
yups. get up. heads up...and tell myself. naz, you'll just have to do it yourway. i will not be totally in sports. afterall, my real ambition is design of buildings and business. i have to start from some sort of that areas. well, while trying to achieve everything i will still open doors too many opportunities in my life...ill always decide things carefully before i ever made any mistake again.. im only 19 this year. haha. its too early to believe in love...and yup. ill never believe in it till something happens again...i won't find. ill let it come naturally.
maybe in the future, ill decide things for myself. im opening my heart up once again...for now. i just felt like travelling some other place alone and meditate and enjoy some time alone. i really had my friends and family there already. im soo gratefull for them.
my heart is stone cold now. its hurting and i must tell myself that. naz, this is normal to you. you should be used to it. its won't be any same true love anymore....im all battered and broken. but ive not ended it with a white flag...i just realise one thing. in sports, i had already suffer soo many pains...but when it comes to pain in the heart, im so weak at conquering it...i have to conquer it...
for once, it will be okay to let others decide for you and you be able to let them do what they want. afterall, my duty is to help change the lifes of people in some other way... but one thing for sure. it wun be the same anymore... i can't always give people what they want...
today, im soo broken in the inside. no one will ever knew how it felt. those who thinks that they knew and understand how i felt...just shut up. and keep quiet. only i know. i don't want any sympathy.
ill be peaceful now...ill be more quiet and enjoy the littlest thing in life. ill listen to my favourite music and enjoy my short life... i can never say those words in my thoughts now....
im just soo broken now. i hope there are no time for me. because life is too short for me to have time to recover...sacrifices is made by me. and im still saying. i did not made a wrong decision. and that i will not forget things. but ill be moving on with memories...
thank you diary...
dearest diary.
today i just made the decision that most probably everyone wants to...
and thinks i should too...
yes, ive let people decide for me...but actually, i too did that decision.
it really ended just like that. and yup. i have to let go...
because thats what she wants. and that she has decided and never to change her mind again...and this is permanent. really permanent. uneraseable.
ive been thinking the whole day and its really for her sake and yups. i don't want others to worry about me. and i too have grown up since and should be able to decide things. we have to be selfish in our lifes. and we too have to stand ground firmly on our decisions.i know that our life should not only just about relationship. we don't get matured from relationship. really. ive achieve lots of things in my life already. and i should continue from there...i will not stop. and i have to get up once again...pull myself together.
once i let go...it will be forever. i too want us to be friends...but it will never be the same again. i need time..lots of time. but most probably. ill be gone from most of your lifes...im sorry. i have to jump steps and be back on track that i was told too...it will be full throttle. such that my arrogance are back up again and i will not care about those who are left back from me...
yups. get up. heads up...and tell myself. naz, you'll just have to do it yourway. i will not be totally in sports. afterall, my real ambition is design of buildings and business. i have to start from some sort of that areas. well, while trying to achieve everything i will still open doors too many opportunities in my life...ill always decide things carefully before i ever made any mistake again.. im only 19 this year. haha. its too early to believe in love...and yup. ill never believe in it till something happens again...i won't find. ill let it come naturally.
maybe in the future, ill decide things for myself. im opening my heart up once again...for now. i just felt like travelling some other place alone and meditate and enjoy some time alone. i really had my friends and family there already. im soo gratefull for them.
my heart is stone cold now. its hurting and i must tell myself that. naz, this is normal to you. you should be used to it. its won't be any same true love anymore....im all battered and broken. but ive not ended it with a white flag...i just realise one thing. in sports, i had already suffer soo many pains...but when it comes to pain in the heart, im so weak at conquering it...i have to conquer it...
for once, it will be okay to let others decide for you and you be able to let them do what they want. afterall, my duty is to help change the lifes of people in some other way... but one thing for sure. it wun be the same anymore... i can't always give people what they want...
today, im soo broken in the inside. no one will ever knew how it felt. those who thinks that they knew and understand how i felt...just shut up. and keep quiet. only i know. i don't want any sympathy.
ill be peaceful now...ill be more quiet and enjoy the littlest thing in life. ill listen to my favourite music and enjoy my short life... i can never say those words in my thoughts now....
im just soo broken now. i hope there are no time for me. because life is too short for me to have time to recover...sacrifices is made by me. and im still saying. i did not made a wrong decision. and that i will not forget things. but ill be moving on with memories...
thank you diary...
I give
my life to hear your voiceThe Boy
Nickname: naz.Birthday: 23rd march 89
Location: singapore
Zodiac Sign: aries
Personality: bet2differ
Languages: eng
E-mail: nazrisaifee_chemicromance
His blog
A poetry in motion that is. for it has its own reasons and meanings and for all this guy could only have. to pour and to cheer about his life. may not be known, but does make a difference in the world. he is half malay and chinese. he loves music. he loves sports. he loves art. he loves the people he knew. simple. simplest at its himself.loves & hates
50 first date, athletics, avenged sevenfold, blink 182, boxers and hoodies, chris brown, dashboard confessional, faber drive, family and friends, fashion, fm static, football, jonas brothers, katy perry, limp bizkit, music of any kind, secondhand serenade, shop, simple plan, sports, tats simple., the beatlesmy fav'd quotes
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